"Every single day a tiny seed is placed directly into the middle of the air by a hand with no arm that will take the life of those who see it and the seed is held in place by the sun and a breeze so light that to feel it requires complete obliteration of the self pre-sensation and the seed is in a new spot each day and to know the spot before is to desiccate the seed from within and leave it a hollow of off-wenge death and most days a bird or rat or child will eat the seed before it is given the chance of actualization and no seed has yet fully grown but some days you will see one held there by the sun and wind and you should always awaken each day because the seeds must be seen by weary eyes and I need our weary eyes to continue to see mostly nothing"
about
"Every single day a tiny seed is placed directly into the middle of the air by a hand with no arm that will take the life of those who see it and the seed is held in place by the sun and a breeze so light that to feel it requires complete obliteration of the self pre-sensation and the seed is in a new spot each day and to know the spot before is to desiccate the seed from within and leave it a hollow of off-wenge death and most days a bird or rat or child will eat the seed before it is given the chance of actualization and no seed has yet fully grown but some days you will see one held there by the sun and wind and you should always awaken each day because the seeds must be seen by weary eyes and I need our weary eyes to continue to see mostly nothing"
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This song/album arose out of an experiment based on a trip to nature recently. I was out in the woods, having a really rough day, and I heard this beautiful "hum" all of a sudden- this lovely drone made of gentle wind and leaf sounds with some occasional birds, and then a clear, clean tone- almost like when you are running a fan or a vacuum and you can take the time to hear the beautiful harmonics that come out of those things. It was great, and made me feel relaxed and much less terrified of the world, and I thought "wouldn't it be great if I could make music like this?!"
So.... I tried! Or rather, I started to try: I did some cursory research on the harmonic series, and then started putting together kind of a proof of concept sketch of how this would work, using some samples that I had lying around (a melodica, and some "birds and wind" recorded on a friend's cellphone maybe like, 6 years ago...?). Then I had a bad crazy day at work, and sorta went into a fugue state, and the next morning I had a nearly finished 38 minute song that I thought was really beautiful and unique!
This is not what I originally intended- this was supposed to be a piece of pure, simple relaxation that would make me (and hopefully others) feel good and safe and serene for the whole thing. This ended up much more moody and with little glitches, full of strange semi-harmonic sounds that rub against each other in very odd and (compared to what I originally intended) quickly moving arcs. But... I feel that what you are listening to now is a much more accurate representation of who I am and how I experience and struggle with the world around me. It might not be the ambient music we want, or even deserve, but it is the ambient music that is true to us.... or at least my stupid ass. And, I just like it, and if you end up on this page, you probably like similar stuff to me, so you might too. So, please enjoy this bizarre, stretchy blob of sounds, and hopefully it'll make you feel something in this weird, challenging world.
credits
released October 2, 2020
This album was made using two samples and a computer. I cannot remember who recorded the birds, but it was probably Rachel, so thanks Rachel. Also, big thank you to Kate for checking out a draft, and Zane for being the only human I know who I can email a 38 minute piece of music and be like "is this anything?" and get meaningful AND encouraging feedback within a day. You are all angels.
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